Apparently according to the Bible, the Rapture is when all Christians get suddenly taken into heaven by God, leaving non-believers to suffer through a seven-year Tribulation period that involves mass destruction, famine, plagues, and the Antichrist (among many other horrible things) before Armageddon happens. This intriguing premise opens itself up to all sorts of thought-provoking, heart-wrenching, and disturbing story possibilities. Unfortunately, the 2014 film adaptation of the popular Left Behind series is the virtual opposite of any of those things.
It starts off banally enough, with philandering airline pilot Rayford Steele (played by hunky Nicolas Cage) flirting with sexy airline attendant Hattie Durham while arguing with his college-age daughter Chole, whose deeply religious mother Irene effectively split the entire family with her beliefs a while ago, all while the "world-famous" journalist Cameron "Buck" Williams looks on (and makes some rather creepy advances towards Chloe). Everyone exchanges banal conversations for about a half-hour or so before the Rapture happens, resulting in Rayford trying to calm his hysterical passengers to no avail while Chloe tries not to get killed by mobs of murderous looters and empty vehicles crashing all around her. And yes, this is exactly as thrilling as it sounds.
Besides the painfully obvious fact that it doesn't even remotely follow its source material to the point that all it shares in common with it is a few of the main characters' names (although the book's authors inexplicably loved it anyway), this movie is just unbelievably awful in every single imaginable way possible. The plot is ridiculously convoluted (and surprisingly boring at times), the acting is stiff as a post, the situations are often unintentionally hilarious (children's clothing falls from the sky, a woman starts randomly spouting Bible quotes completely out of context, a man threatens someone with an electric toothbrush, people literally start robbing and killing each other five seconds after the Rapture happens, upbeat music plays during an attempted suicide, an entire city goes up in flames for no reason), and the length is painfully overlong to the point where half of this nearly two-hour long movie could have been cut without any difference being made to the plot whatsoever. However, what really taints the film more than anything is that however many pointless crashes and explosions there may be, it's really just a preachy, overly melodramatic religious drama thinly disguised as a cheap action flick.
None of this is meant to prevent you from watching the movie. In fact, if you like epically bad films, or just want to laugh at something enjoyably stupid to pass the time, by all means, check it out. However, if you want a thoughtful, serious take on the massive Biblical event, then you won't mind being Left Behind at home when somebody suggests going to watch this incoherent mess.
Note: After initially giving Left Behind a 1/10 grade, I just realized that it would be much better-suited being the first–and, unfortunately, only as of now (December 20, 2019, more than a year after I originally penned this review)–recipient of the one you see below on my website. Believe me, the film earned it. It really, really earned it.
Hilariocity
© 2018 Ben Parker
All Rights Reserved.
It starts off banally enough, with philandering airline pilot Rayford Steele (played by hunky Nicolas Cage) flirting with sexy airline attendant Hattie Durham while arguing with his college-age daughter Chole, whose deeply religious mother Irene effectively split the entire family with her beliefs a while ago, all while the "world-famous" journalist Cameron "Buck" Williams looks on (and makes some rather creepy advances towards Chloe). Everyone exchanges banal conversations for about a half-hour or so before the Rapture happens, resulting in Rayford trying to calm his hysterical passengers to no avail while Chloe tries not to get killed by mobs of murderous looters and empty vehicles crashing all around her. And yes, this is exactly as thrilling as it sounds.
Besides the painfully obvious fact that it doesn't even remotely follow its source material to the point that all it shares in common with it is a few of the main characters' names (although the book's authors inexplicably loved it anyway), this movie is just unbelievably awful in every single imaginable way possible. The plot is ridiculously convoluted (and surprisingly boring at times), the acting is stiff as a post, the situations are often unintentionally hilarious (children's clothing falls from the sky, a woman starts randomly spouting Bible quotes completely out of context, a man threatens someone with an electric toothbrush, people literally start robbing and killing each other five seconds after the Rapture happens, upbeat music plays during an attempted suicide, an entire city goes up in flames for no reason), and the length is painfully overlong to the point where half of this nearly two-hour long movie could have been cut without any difference being made to the plot whatsoever. However, what really taints the film more than anything is that however many pointless crashes and explosions there may be, it's really just a preachy, overly melodramatic religious drama thinly disguised as a cheap action flick.
None of this is meant to prevent you from watching the movie. In fact, if you like epically bad films, or just want to laugh at something enjoyably stupid to pass the time, by all means, check it out. However, if you want a thoughtful, serious take on the massive Biblical event, then you won't mind being Left Behind at home when somebody suggests going to watch this incoherent mess.
Note: After initially giving Left Behind a 1/10 grade, I just realized that it would be much better-suited being the first–and, unfortunately, only as of now (December 20, 2019, more than a year after I originally penned this review)–recipient of the one you see below on my website. Believe me, the film earned it. It really, really earned it.
Hilariocity
© 2018 Ben Parker
All Rights Reserved.